A LETTER TO A FATHER

Question: Dear Dr. Andrews,
I am a 13 year old, and I have a younger brother and younger sister. May dad, when his is home from work, spends most of his time on the patio smoking. My mother and my sister are allergic to smoking. The rest of the family does not like the smell of cigarettes either. I am very sad that my dad smokes.He reads your column, so I would like him to know the reasons why I wish for him to stop smoking.
1. Dad, sometimes I feel you prefer smoking better than your own family.
2. I wish you would spend time not smoking but with all of us.
3. I worry about your health. You are always tired, out of breath and look older
than you really are. I'm afraid you may die from heart trouble or lung cancer
and I cry when I think this can happen to you.
4. Your smoking causes you and Mom to argue, and we all are very unhappy when
the two of you don't get along. We want to live in a happy family.
5. Cigarettes cost money, and you work hard on your job. Event then, we cannot
afford many extras. I feel as though you are taking away from yourself and
from all of us.Dad, you are a good person, and I think if you decide to quit
smoking and you ask God for help, he will give it to you.

Dad, I hope you will read these reasons and think about what I've said to you.
Love,Your Daughter

Answer: Your letter to your father was beautiful. I could feel your caring and the deep concern you have for him. I encourage you to tell your father that you love him and care about him, as you've said in your letter. Please avoid nagging, or threatening, they will not help him to make a decision to stop smoking.I want to that you for writing to me.You speak for many children, who have the same wish for a loved one as you do for your dad. I have included in this column some facts about smoking, based on information published by the American Cancer Society, that could be helpful to your father.

If you are thinking of quitting smoking here are some things to consider:

1. It's not as hard as you think to remove this addiction from your life.
2. Don't look at it as if you are giving up something. This makes it seem too much
like a loss. What you are really doing is tossing something out of your life that
has done you harm and doesn't belong here anymore.
3. Set a date. Make a commitment. Give it a try. Remember, it is alright if you don't
succeed at first. Just keep trying. The only way you can lose is by ceasing to try.
4. Always keep a positive attitude. After all, this is one of the most positive things
you've ever done. Stay away from negative people and worrisome situations.
5. Quit for yourself. Even though your family and loved ones will benefit
tremendously from your quitting, it is you that will benefit the most. Have at
lease two reasons that you want to stop smoking.
6. Treat giving up smoking with the respect it rightly deserves. Become willing to
go to any lengths to remove it from your life. If you are not willing, try praying
for the willingness. This usually works.
7. Consider getting some support from a professional who understands nicotine
addiction.
8. Clinical Hypnosis, Auricular acupuncture, and E.F.T. (Emotional Freedom
Technique) are most effective treatments to help you stop the smoking habit,
because they focus on the psychological and the physiological factors of the
addiction as well.
9. Keep in mind, that desire to be a non smoker, is the key to your success.

Eugenia Andrews,
Ph.D.Psychologist, Hypnotherapist, Life/Business Coach