YOUR DEEPEST FEAR COULD BE OVERCOME

WHAT IS YOUR DEEPEST FEAR?
IS IT FAILURE, OR SUCCESS BEYOND ANYONE'S BELIEF?
WHO BELIEVES IN YOU?
WHAT DO YOU FEEL YOU MUST DO IN ORDER TO LEAVE IT BEHIND?
...CLOSE YOUR EARS TO NEGATIVE AND DISCOURAGING COMMENTS FROM FRIENDS AND RELATIVES.
YOU DO NOT NEED TOXIC PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE, SUPPORTIVE AND CARING PEOPLE .

Ο ΠΙΟ ΜΕΓΑΛΟΣ ΦΟΒΟΣ ΜΠΟΡΕΙ ΝΑ ΞΕΠΕΡΑΣΤΕΙ

Μερικοί άνθρωποι φοβούνται την αποτυχία.
Αλλοι, ίσως οι πιο πολλοί φοβούναι ότι θα πραγματοποιήσουν τα όνειρά τους.
Αναρωτιούνται κρυφά μέσα τους. Τι θα συμβεί μετά;
Ποιός είναι ο δικός σου φόβος;
...Τι πιστεύεις ότι χρειάζεσαι για να το ξεπεράσεις;
Ποιος σε στηριζει στη προσπάθειά σου, και πιστεύει σε σένα;
Κλείσε τα αυτιά σου στους φίλους και συγγενείς που είναι αρνητικοί.

ΕΙΣΑΙ ΤΕΛΕΙΟΜΑΝΗΣ;

Η τελειομανία δημιουργείται απο το άγχος και την επιθυμία για επιτυχία και την ανάγκη να διατηρείς μια αίσθηση ελέγχου, όταν μέσα σου ή γύρω σου νιώθεις σύγχιση και φόβο.
Πες στον εαυτό σου: ΣΗΜΕΡΑ ΣΥΝΕΙΔΗΤA ΘΕΛΩ ΝΑ ΝΙΩΣΩ ΤΟ ΠΟΝΟ ΓΙΑ ΤΟ ΣΥΓΚΕΚΡΙΜΕΝΟ ΓΕΓΟΝΟΣ ΣΤΗ ΖΩΗ ΜΟΥ, ΧΩΡΙΣ ΝΑ ΒΙΑΣΤΩ ΝΑ ΚΑΝΩ ΚΑΤΙ... Η ΝΑ ΕΧΩ ΑΜΥΝΤΙΚΗ ΣΥΜΠΕΡΙΦΟΡΑ. ΑΝΤΕΧΩ ΤΑ ΣΥΝΑΙΣΘΗΜΑΤΑ ΜΟΥ ΚΑΙ ΕΙΜΑΙ Ο ΑΥΘΕΝΤΙΚΟΣ ΕΑΥΤΟΣ ΜΟΥ.

Η "ΑΛΛΑΓΗ" ΕΙΝΑΙ ΤΟ ΜΥΣΤΙΚΟ ΤΗΣ ΠΡΟΣΩΠΙΚΗΣ ΑΝΑΝΕΩΣΗΣ

Να την αποδέχεσαι .
Να την χρησιμοποιείς σαν σημείο αναφοράς στη προσωπική σου εξέλιξη και ευτυχία.
Να μαθαίνεις καθημερινά καινούργιους τρόπους αντιμετώπισης αντιξοοτήτων, στη προσωπική σου ζωή, και στο επαγγελματικό σου περιβάλλον.
Να μην επαναπαύεσαι ότι ξέρεις όλα όσα χρειάζεσαι...

Ετσι διατηρείς τον ενθουσιασμό σου για τη ζωή και νιώθεις πάντα νέος !

"BECOME A STUDENT OF CHANGE. IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT WILL REMAIN CONSTANT" - Anthony D'Angelo

"ΝΑ ΕΚΠΑΙΔΕΥΕΙΣ ΤΟΝ ΕΑΥΤΟ ΣΟΥ ΣΤΟ ΘΕΜΑ ΠΟΥ ΛΕΓΕΤΑΙ "ΑΛΛΑΓΗ".
ΕΙΝΑΙ ΤΟ ΜΟΝΟ ΠΡΑΓΜΑ ΠΟΥ ΠΑΡΑΜΕΝΕΙ ΣΤΑΘΕΡΟ." - Anthony D'Angelo

Ten Rules for Resolutions Success

Dear Dr. Andrews,
Every year I make my new year’s resolutions but for some reason I never have any success in sticking with them. This year I would like to put exercise into my daily routine and quit smoking. In the past I lost my enthusiasm quickly and I was back where I started, which made me feel like a failure. Are other people successful in their resolutions, and could you give me some suggestions on how to realize mine. I want to stop feeling disappointed in myself.
“Success in 2010”

Dear “Success”,
I think it’s great that you want to take better care of yourself as your new year’s resolutions reflect. Many people all over the world use this time of year to “take inventory” of how their lives have been in the past year, assess the things they’d planned to do and did, and come to the realization that there were still some things they did not accomplish. This realization, often puts some pressure on everyone, and it could lead to the individuals renewing their resolutions for the New Year much too quickly. Frequently, disappointment and a sense of failure give way to renewed hope that a new beginning could perhaps be made with the start of the New Year.You must know that you are not alone in having difficulty keeping your New Year’s resolutions. Research tells us that only about 40% of the people who make them are able to keep them on the first attempt. The rest make several attempts and many often will succeed on the fifth or sixth attempt. The following are some suggestions to help you succeed this year:
1. Make the decision to make a change for you and no one else.
2. A strong commitment to your goal is very important.
3. Start taking action today. One does not achieve change by thinking about it but by doing
something.
4. Take small steps daily, e.g., when it comes to losing weight, start walking 10 minutes every
day or eat half the portion of a meal that you would eat otherwise.
5. Have realistic expectations for yourself. It is truly amazing how being realistic about our
goals does not overwhelm us and produces amazing results.
6. Avoid being critical of yourself if you slip. Keep in mind that change is a process and it takes
time.
7. Be consistent. Through the accumulation of small actions we get big results.
8. We all want fast changes but we shouldn’t underestimate the factor of time. Changes require
us to be patient.
9. Make a list with coping strategies and several names of people who can be your support
system in your quest to lose weight and stop smoking. You might even find someone to do
this together with and you can motivate each other.
10. Never frame your resolutions as absolutes by saying “I will never do this again.” Success is a
process of changing all habits.
As the well-known football player and coach, Jim Ryan put it, “Motivation is what gets us started. Habit is what keeps us going.” Get into action today with small, consistent steps and before you know it, you’ll be meeting your goals.

Dr. Eugenia

Seven Secrets to Success

1. You must start your day by asking the right questions.
2. You must practice positive thinking everyday.
3. You must take care of yourself.
4. You must accept your failures and learn from them.
5. You must dream.
6. You must be persistent and concentrate on your goals.
7. You must stay motivated.

Holiday Spirit is a Choice

The holiday season is upon us again with all the hope, the joy and the good cheer that it brings along; however, for some people the holidays can be stressful, a time filled with loneliness, anxiety and depression, the so called "Holiday Blues." In the midst of all the gift giving, parties and family gatherings, there are people who experience a gnawing feeling of emptiness, sadness, loss and depression. "Tis the season to be jolly", but unfortunately for many the fast pace of the holidays, along with the financial pressures, the fatigue, the shopping and the social gatherings leave them frazzled and emotionally exhausted.

Here are some suggestions, which can help one keep an emotional balance and enable oneself to be more in charge of emotions during this time.

• Acknowledge your feelings. Allow yourself to admit that you feel sadness and grief if there has been an event of a separation, divorce or loss of a loved one this past year.
• Be realistic, by keeping your expectations reasonable.
• Plan ahead, to avoid stress. Develop a schedule of specific days for shopping, baking, and delivering gifts and social gatherings.
• Maintain a positive outlook. Make a point of avoiding negative people who are complainers and critical of others.
• If you are alone for the season, plan early to be with some friends.
• Share responsibilities with other family members or friends such as cooking or baking. Avoid fatigue and be nice to yourself.
• Be moderate with food and drink. Eat only what you want and drink what you can reasonably handle, avoiding overdoing it.
• Give to others less fortunate than yourself. Give a gift of money, if you can afford it.
• Remember the true meaning of the holidays. They are a time of spirituality and recognition of special religious events. This could be a time to renew your spiritual beliefs.

Let's see the holidays as a time for deeper understanding of our lives, our motivations and our relationships with others. Happy holidays and may the peace and true meaning of the season be yours today and throughout the year.

Hypnosis, opens the door to your Unlimited Possibilities

What do you think when you hear the word "Hypnosis"? Most people think that you will lose control of who they are. That is absolutely not true. Hypnosis is a tool to improve the quality of your life. Even one session can enhance your peace of mind and increase your self-confidence and create the success you want.
Hypnosis can assist in all areas of your life, such as:

• Stop Smoking
• Lose Weight
• Control Pain
• Relieve Depression
• Reduce Stress
• Change Behavioral Patterns
• Enhance Learning
• Activate Memory Recall
• Give Up Fears and Phobias
• Overcome Anxiety
• Erase Guilt
• Work Through Grief

"Subtle Intention" Opens Door To Goal Success

Hello friends,

This week, I'm in Carlsbad California, at the CHOPRA Center, training with Dr. Deepak Chopra and Dr. David Simon.
It has been an amazing experience, one that words simply cannot fully describe.
Here are some incredible ideas that I would like to share with you.
Through meditation and practicing silence, we go inward, quiet our mind from that old "chatter" and allow for our intentions to manifest into the outcome we want, by letting go of the anxiety and stress we used to feel .
The good news is, that we do not have to try hard to reach our goals.
All you need to do, is get clear about what you want be aware of your timing, get comfortable with that feeling of uncertainty, while you create a subtle intention and watch with "curiosity" how things develop in your life.
I am doing this myself and am manifesting several things that seemed impossible just last week.
You too, can have this fantastic experience and I assure you, you will be amazed with the results. Things do not have to be hard, instead we must develop new strategies of thought and action. This way, we'll be able to enjoy this journey that's called life, much more than ever before. Right now, ask yourself, "What is it that I want to manifest in my life today, this week, or next month?" Do you want to Stop Smoking, Lose Weight, make more money, have the job of your dreams? Hypnosis and Life Coaching, help you achieve clarity, let go of anxiety and create the "Subtle Intention", which is the key to fulfilling your desires.
Make your decision today and step into your dreams!
Please let me hear your thoughts.
This is the beginning of a conversation which it's my wish you will find interesting and thought provoking as you are looking into the end of another year and the beginning of a new one.

Love and Peace to you,

Eugenia

Hypnosis: The Key to Your Athletic Performance

In 1980, tests of world class Russian athletes showed that mental training was far more productive of improvement than physical training! Electrophysiological testing had indicated the dramatic value of mental imaging as early as 1932.
Hypnosis cannot make unskilled people into champions, but it can generate performance at or near "personal best" levels.
Hypnosis to improve athletic performance deals with four categories: goal setting, relaxation, concentration and rehearsal. Goals need to be written down; relaxation relieves tension; concentration removes distractions; mental rehearsing has proved more productive than physical practice. Olympic athletes use it often, with superb results. Mental processes do not remove the need for physical training and practice, but can maximize productive results.

You Can Manage Pain With Hypnosis

Most Hypnotherapists work with pain problem primarily in conjunction with appropriate healing arts professionals. This is because pain often is a symptom of a problem rather that the problem itself. A headache might be a migraine; it also might be a brain tumor. A medical diagnosis is important.
However, properly used hypnosis can reduce pain, alleviate anxiety, remove fears of dentistry or surgery, eliminate or reduce the need for injections or other applications of chemical anesthesia, promote comfort and healing and expedite recovery. it is becoming more common in dentistry, obstetrics, burn treatment and emergency room trauma.
In accomplishing the above it is evident that hypnotherapy can prove dramatically effective in dealing with medically-related stress situations.

The Secret of Visualization

It has often been said that "What your mind can conceive, you can achieve!" The same thought is expressed throughout the centuries from the Bible to today's motivational writers and speakers.
Books like the"The SECRET" and "The Law Of Attraction" have talked about the power of our thoughts and its impact on the lives we lead.
What you picture in your mind, you can bring into your life. You can "attract" anything you desire, as long as you can visualize it. We all have the power to make things happen in our lives but few of us ever learn how to use it.
Hypnotherapy utilizes the power of visualization.
If you have the ability to transform your thoughts into pictures , you can learn how to use this priceless skill. If visualization is difficult, as it is for some people,hypnosis can teach you how to develop it.
The benefits of acquiring these skills will last a lifetime and they will enhance your life in all areas.

Dr.Eugenia Andrews

Hypnosis, a pathway to Self Confidence and Career Advancement

Do you feel that you are stuck in your job? Are you being passed over for advancement? Feelings of insecurity and lack of confidence are causing you to worry?
Shaky employment situations create stress, anger, fear and anxiety. So does failure to advance or move forward in your work.
What can hypnosis do to help? First, motivation is vital. You won't advance unless you decide that is what you truly want. Hypnosis can stimulate motivation, create a spark of motivation and strong desire in your heart. Fire you up to meet and welcome challenges.
Hypnosis can help you develop assertiveness, confidence and leadership. Hypnosis can help you become comfortable at meetings, speaking up and expressing your ideas. Through Hypnosis, you can learn new skills, techniques, procedures necessary to perform in advanced positions. And hypnosis can help you develop the ability to communicate effectively, an important factor in supervisory positions.. Doors will open in in your life, opportunities will develop and possibilities will create themselves right in front of your eyes.
You will discover that you have made a "shift" in your thinking and your beliefs about your capabilities and potential.
Life will only get better from here on.

Dr.Eugenia Andrews

Effective Tools to make Learning easier

Did you know that poor study habits, poor memory, lack of focus, absence of reward, effects of medicines and drugs, and fear, these are the elements that adversely affect learning, resulting in poor comprehension, slow progress and low grades?
Hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique, can help reduce or eliminate problems in any or all of these areas. Study habits, including time management and concetration,, can be improved through hypnotic suggestions.
Retention of words, ideas and concepts can be enhanced along with overall functions of memory. Hypnosis and EFT can stimulate the desire to learn, to progress, to achieve one’s full potential. Self-hypnosis skills and EFT will help clear the limiting beliefs that have kept the individual stuck in a "cannot learn" pattern.This change will provide lifetime benefits useful in achieving goals in the future. Most important, one would adopt a winning ," I CAN DO" attitude, so crucial for peace of mind and life success.

Dr. Eugenia Andrews

Healing Fears and Phobias

Fear reactions may range from simple “hang-ups” to specific (or less concrete) fears which affect the activities or enjoyment of life, to full-blown phobias which may be a part of serious mental illness. Under certain circumstances or in specific situations virtually all people experience a variety of rational or irrational apprehensions. Fears seldom travel alone. One may be dominant, but usually several may be present. Fears often develop when one thinks that there is impending danger. Fear of loss of control is a core issue of human experience and very common, especially in phobia cases. Fear of fear itself can be debilitating.
Hypnotic suggestions can replace catastrophic thoughts with rational thinking, based on facts explaining existing problems. Recognizing and exploring the causes can diminish anxieties and alleviate symptoms, relieving distress and setting the individual, free to enjoy life.

Dr.Eugenia Andrews

Can hypnosis help children?

All of us are aware, that children live in their imagination. As they play and dream they become anything they can imagine: pilots, doctors, fireman, tractor or truck drivers, mothers, teachers.
Their worlds are unlimited and very real to them. Vivid imagination and mental pictures make them ideal subjects for hypnosis, provided they are old enough to maintain an attention span.
Children lack the inhibitions and they are free, while adults feel inhibited and restricted by society's rules and standards.
They are open to new things and receptive to new experiences.
Hypnosis can help children with : bedwetting, nightmares,school anxiety, fears, undesirable mannerisms and attitudes. As they grow older: attention problems, learning difficulties, study habits, stress (home & school), self-esteem and confidence, motivation, athletic performance, creativity, even grief from loss , separation or divorce.
Children respond positively to hypnosis and make amazing changes in their life.

Dr.Eugenia Andrews

You Can Succeed in Sales

Sales is one of the most profitable careers. Yet a lot of people avoid sales positions, particularly commission sales. The reason is, that such positions involve direct personal interaction and a great deal of communication.
Sales is an area in which persistence, determination and the ability to accept rejection, form the foundation for success. All of these characteristics can be developed or enhanced through hypnosis. A great positive Attitude is the doorway to success.
If you are shy or very sensitive who tends to take things personally, You can adopt and integrate the belief that potential customers could be seen as friends who would benefit from using the product or service that you are offering.
The experience of rejection can be interpreted, as most successful salespeople frequently do, as a positive step toward ultimately achieving one's goal: closing the sale.
Hypnosis can remove all fear and doubts, while enhancing one's motivation and desire to succeed in sales.

Dr.Eugenia Andrews

How to Achieve Your True Potential

One of the essential ingredients that create the foundation for happiness, is our self esteem.
Self esteem and self-confidence are essential in order for people to accomplish what they want. Self-esteem is fundamental to friendships, work, love relationships, ambitions and goals, even health itself.
A person must like, respect and admire the person he/she sees in the mirror.
Self-confidence is necessary to achievement; however, it requires self-esteem to be effective. Life events in childhood or adult years, can damage self-esteem and destroy one's confidence in themselves. The possibility of reaching one’s full potential could decrease. Past negative "tapes"and limiting beliefs from judgmental parents, teachers, relatives or peers can inhibit progress. Hypnotherapy can reveal the causes, create understanding and modify self-doubts and beliefs, enabling individual potential to come to develop itself. EFT, can help one let go of those old "tapes" of the past.

Dr.Eugenia Andrews

Quit smoking permanently, with Hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique

Dear Dr. Eugenia,
I have tried everything to stop smoking, acupuncture, filters, the patch you name it. Eight months ago, at the encouragement of a friend, I tried hypnosis and it worked. I had two sessions, and felt really good. There were no cravings and my energy started coming back. Then, I went through a divorce and I'm smoking again. I have a new home and I don't want it to smell like smoke so I end up smoking outside or in the garage and it's too hot this time of the year. I'm starting to get angry with myself and feel stuck again. I'm tired of this habit.
Can hypnosis help me this time for good?

Answer:
In our experience about 95% of people who smoke are successful in their effort to stop smoking when they have more than one therapy options available to them.
People differ in the way they react to stressful situations and they can be caught "off guard" by a crisis, such as death, divorce, a move, loss of a job, even a bad day at work.of the second time around through hypnosis. Our research, which began in 1985 has clearly shown that a combination of at least two treatment methods, such as Hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique, maximizes your success, up to 95% , and it's irrelevant to the number of one's efforts to quit smoking. You can be taught specific ways to "disconnect" any associations between stressful feelings and cravings for cigarettes, through EFT and Hypnosis. This way you would feel assured that no matter what happens, you are now free of cigarettes and have become a NON SMOKER FOR LIFE.

Dr. Eugenia Andrews

Hypnosis, EFT and Motivation Coaching Help You Stop Binging

Question:
I lose weight but when I'm close to my goal weight I start binging. I feel totally hopeless and have no idea, what to do. Can hypnosis help me to stop my binging habit?

Answer:
Hypnosis is a very powerful tool when it comes to changing habits. In hypnosis, we work with your desire to stop binging and make that change through the subconscious mind. Through hypnosis, your subconscious will receive suggestions that will make a permanent change in your eating habits and more importantly your thoughts about food. You will learn to eat when you are hungry and stop eating out of habit, boredom , anxiety, disappointment frustration, anger or worry.
Binging may have given you a sense of control , but you do understand that this is "superficial " and not the " real" lasting feeling of control that you want to have in your life.
A program that includes Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique and Motivation Coaching,, will help you develop high self esteem and you will stop responding to the "thoughts" of binging , instead, you will feel empowered and free. You will learn to exercise control over your thoughts, manage stress better and gain peace of mind. As a result, your relationship with food will change and food will no longer feel like the "enemy".
Remember, that YOU, are far more important than cookies pizza or ice-cream. You are an amazing , alive human being and "THEY" are only things.
Yes, you can stop the never ending cycle of binging and live the life you want. Believe it and take action to claim your happiness, Today.

Dr. Eugenia Andrews

"Alone we can do so little. Together, we can do so much."

Helen Keller

" Courage is the power to let go of the familiar"

Raymond Lindquist

Hypnosis, The Key To Active Metabolism

Question:
I have a girlfriend who came to see you, and she was able to lose 12 pounds in three weeks. She is an accountant and she says that pound for pound she has spent less money utilizing hypnosis than many of the other programs she used and she never had to buy any special foods or supplements. Could you explain how her success was possible?

Answer:
In our program, there is no need to eat pre-packaged foods or take food supplements. Hypnosis works naturally and you eat natural foods that you buy at the grocery store. After our initial session, people find that they automatically have portion control, cut back on sweets and snacks and have more energy. Hypnosis creates a desire in you to walk or work out, and it helps your metabolism to work at an optimal level and burn more calories than ever before. This way you may lose between two to four pounds per week, which is your girlfriend’s experience. One of the most important parts of our program is making weight loss an enjoyable and fun experience. We encourage our clients to have fun because if you have fun and joy in your life, you will avoid resorting to food as a comfort and a stress reliever. Therefore, you will stop snacking and overeating. In our view, weight loss becomes possible when you:
1. Stop emotional eating
2. Develop and maintain portion control
3. Develop an active metabolism
4. Have a fun and active lifestyle

If you are ready to reach your goal weight, this is the program for you.

Eugenia Andrews, Ph.D.
Life/Business Coach, Hypnotherapist

Hypnosis and EFT can help Teenager Stop “Emotional Eating”

Question:

My daughter is an overweight teenager. She refuses to go to school because of the way she feels about herself. She doesn't seem to think a lot of herself and is constantly depressed. What can I do to help her?

Answer:

Teenagers today face more pressures and expectations than ever before. It is very hard trying to grow up with the added stress of peer pressure and wanting to fit in. Teen girls
are especially self-conscious about their appearance, and weight issues can contribute to low self-esteem , angry feelings and a sense of hopelessness.
Your daughter may be using food to soothe her stress, anxiety and fears. This of course causes a continuous cycle of weight gain, depression, overeating, and so on. Listen to your daughter's feelings about herself. She may be overeating because she is anxious, depressed or angry with herself or others. Those feelings have to be changed from within with the use of Hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). She will feel better about herself and gain confidence and self-esteem. Hypnosis and EFT together would help her stop the compulsive eating and alleviate the reasons that lead to “emotional eating” and the unhappy feelings that come with it.

Eugenia Andrews, Ph.D.
Life/Business Coach, Hypnotherapist

Be A Non-Smoker and Never Gain Weight

Question:
I have been smoking for a long time and would like to stop. Can hypnosis help me quit this habit? I don't want to gain any weight.

Answer:
In our customized approach you receive a recording of your session in which maintaining your present weight is one of several positive suggestions that will help you to avoid gaining weight as a non-smoker. Some of the people we work with, even lose weight if they need to while becoming non smokers.Your success in quiting , has no relevance to how long you've been smoking. Time is a concept of the conscious mind and habits develop in the subconscious mind. In order to succeed, all it takes is your motivation and desire, to achieve your goal.
Becoming a Non smoker, is a CHOICE to attain good health, high self-esteem and quality of life, in addition to respecting the environment and the world around you . Of course, there are tremendous financial benefits that come with a non smoking lifestyle, and they are of great importance for most people, given the current financial times.

Dr. Eugenia Andrews

Stop Smoking: Success With Hypnosis

Dear Dr. Andrews,
I hope you can help me because I don't know what to do about my smoking. I have been a smoker for 35 years and find it impossible to quit. Right now, I'm using the gum and it is not helping. Is Nicorette Gum any good because it makes me nauseous? Is there anything else I can do to stop smoking?

Answer:
According to American cancer Society literature, 90% of those who smoke would like to quit, and have tried at least once. Most people believe they "should" be strong enough to quit by themselves. However, studies have shown that smokers who get help from an effective program using hypnosis, are much more likely to stop, with no unwanted side effects, and to stay stopped, than those who quit on their own. the success rate of clients in our program is close to 96%. The program is totally painless and natural and uses no substitutes or drugs. Part of the success of the program comes from the one year free support, which is part of the original investment. The Nicorette Gum is nicotine introduced to the system by absorption. There has been several side effects documented as to the use of this gum. If you are trying to kick the addictive habit of nicotine addiction, then why take nicotine in a different manner. Few people are successful with this method. When choosing a program for smoking cessation, look for a multi-dimensional approach for dealing with the nicotine addiction,one without drugs, nor pain.

Weight Loss Tips

1. Get plenty of sleep.
2. Practice deep breathing and relaxing.
3. Take a break and go for a walk.
4. Believe you will succeed in reaching your ideal weight.
5. Reduce and learn to manage stress.
6. Accept and love yourself and your body as you are now.
7. Surround yourself with people whose company you enjoy.
8. Have commitment to your goal to lose the weight and keep it off.
9. Stay motivated and think positive.
10. You CAN lose weight while eating out.

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
Carl Rogers

One goal is clarity, ten goals is confusion.

Don't let what you can't do interfere with what you can do.

Your Psychologist Speaks: Exam Anxiety and Hypnosis

Question:
I am a sophomore in college and I spend several hours a week studying. My grades are average and they could really be better if only I stop being anxious during exams. I can't seem to remember what I've read and my mind goes blank. Is there hope for this problem?
Can hypnosis help me?

Answer:
People who have good study habits and still have trouble recalling information, concentrating, and taking exams are the ideal candidates for help through hypnosis. We find that study habits are improved, memory recall is tremendously enhanced, and taking exams becomes much easier. Hypnosis increases one's abilty to concentrate. It helps the individual at exam time so comprehension and retention of the subject matter, is improved. We have been able to help several people with exam anxiety and confidence. People who want to improve their job performance or have success in sports, like basketball or golf, can also benefit from hypnosis.
Dr. Andrews
AWOG Bulletin (American Women of Greece)

Ability, Motivation & Attitude

Ability is what you're capable of.  Motivation determines what you do.  Attitude determines how well you do it.

Lou Holtz

Your Psychologist Speaks About Divorce

AWOG (American Women of Greece) Bulletin
Athens, Greece
Dear Dr. Andrews,
I am going through a divorce, and my attorney has suggested divorce counseling. I want to know more about it and how I can benefit from it. Do you think that divorce counseling can be helpful to somebody in a divorce situation?
"Trying to Handle it"

ANSWER:
Dear "Trying to handle it"
First of all, let me say that I think your attorney has made an excellent recommendation by suggesting to you the idea of divorce counseling. Like marriage counseling, divorce counseling is a therapeutic process that has a special focus! It assists a person to begin to handle the ending of the marital conflicts and to explore one's personal strengths and resources for coping with the dissolution of the marriage. Divorce counseling may have three phases. Pre-divorce counseling, divorce counseling and post-divorce counseling. The divorcing and divorced person, with the assistance of the counselor, will deal with the pain over the dying marriage - attitudes, feelings and behavior he or she experiences in relation to the ex-spouse, the children, relatives and friends. Through the stages of divorce counseling, an individual can gain the benefit of taking a good look - perhaps for the first time in his/her life - at feelings about communication, expectations from self and others, dating, marriage, work, leisure and emotional needs. Divorce counseling can enable one to clarify their values and view of life as a whole. Often while in counseling, people realize for the first time their own sense of autonomy, responsibility and self worth. Divorce counseling can be beneficial to individuals who have gotten a divorce but who still have unresolved feelings such as grief, hurt, resentment or anger. A special goal of divorce counseling is to ease the emotional stress that divorce can have on the child, and to help heal the already stressed parent-child relationship. I do want however, to emphasize how important the choice of a life coach can be in a divorce situation. Their objectivity, as well as warmth and support toward you, is crucial. In my work with people who are going through a divorce experience, my aim is to enable you to achieve self-awareness, to learn to accept yourself without guilty feelings and to explore personal options and choices. Divorce is a painful situation, yet it can be a new beginning for personal growth and understanding once the necessary steps are taken.
Dr. Andrews
Eugenia Andrews, Ph.D. is a psychologist, clinical hypnotherapist, public speaker, E.F.T practitioner and a university professor. She has a private practice in hypnosis and coaching in Fort Worth, Texas. She welcomes your questions and letters and can be reached at: (817) 810-9229.

Today's Decisions

Today's decisions are tomorrow's realities.

When Your Teenager Drinks

Dear Dr. Eugenia,
My teenage son has a friend for several years now. They go to the same school and they do quite a few things together. lately I see the boy looking not as happy as he used to be. He seems to be pre-occupied and it is clear he avoids me whenever he comes to our house. A few times I smelled alcohol as I approached him and I was alarmed. I had to talk to my son who, after some hesitations, confirmed that his friend drinks. In fact he told me that he is worried about him because since he got a girlfriend and they drink together, he misses school and his grades are going down. My son reassures me that his friend is still nice to him and he never offers him alcohol, but I am worried. I don't want my son to cut his friend off, but I am afraid he might start drinking. Are my fears realistic? What can I do?
Panicked Mom

Dear Panicked Mom,
You are right to be concerned about your son. It is easy for a teenager to get to try alcohol when a friend already uses it. Curiosity and peer pressures are very powerful things for someone in his teens. Talk to your son about protecting himself from the risk of alcohol by being aware that he is vulnerable in being with a friend who drinks. If there is a school psychologist or counselor available, your son can encourage his friend to go and talk to him or her, and the boy's parents need to know their son drinks. If you know them well, you can tell them your concerns without criticism.
I hope you and your son do some talking and listening about personal values, beliefs and how he sees himself in his peer group. Can he learn to say "NO" to friends who drink or do things that he does not feel are right for him? Popularity has its price, and your son has to choose what is best for him.
Give him encouragement and support to do it.
Dr. Eugenia Andrews

What Do you Expect In Your Life Now?

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about Expectations.
I noticed that whenever I hope for good things to happen, I have to remind myself , to leave any doubting thoughts out of my mind. Instead, I concentrate on my desire and focus on what I want to happen. What happens, is I receive what I've asked for. Perhaps not in that moment, but the answer comes...It arrives in it's own time when I'm truly ready to receive it.
Expectation is a powerful attracting force, because it "attracts", it draws things to you.
No more sabotaging my positive expectations, by thinking about all the things that could go wrong. I now focus on all the good things and I have faith and unwaivering belief that my thoughts will become reality.
If you've been there, I'm sure you know what I mean.


Bob Proctor, one of the Teachers of the Secret, says. "Desire connects you with the thing desired and expectation draws it into your life". What would happen if You, "allow" yourself the joy to expect all the wonderful things you want? Can you imagine if you just simply try to do this as you think of the job you want, a relationship with a partner or being the parent you want.

Tips for Marriage Success

1. Love
2. Communication
3. Friendship
4. Trust
5. Honesty
6. Respect

HYPNOSIS BOOSTS SELF-CONFIDENCE FOR JOB SUCCESS

Dear Dr. Andrews ,

I had been laid off from my job and my New Year's resolution, was to get into sales.
I've finally found a position, I think is right for me and could be good at. My income depends on commissions and personal effort is rewarded by the company.
I know I have not yet begun to reach my true potential. I want to be more successful at my job. One of my friends tells me that hypnosis helped him visualize his dream and he came to fulfill it. Can hypnosis help me?

ANSWER:
We want to congratulate you on your decision to seek the work you've wanted this new year. Resolutions, focus on change and all change starts from within.
While in the hypnotic state, you are led by the hypnotherapist through visualization .
This is a process, of creating pictures in your mind, of yourself enjoying success.
When you visualize, you generate Powerful Thoughts and Feelings and Attract Positive Energy in your life such as having more customers and closings of sales.
Hypnosis also increases your Motivation, Self-confidence, Focus and empowers you to take action, toward achieving your goals.
It removes the obstacles from your subconscious, so you have a positive "Can do" attitude, and be a winner.
It helps let go of the fear of not getting what you want and you find it easy to visualize and create the expectation for your success.
You gain clarity, your thoughts stay positive and you feel confidence, belief and trust that Prosperity is your birthright .
We can help you get where you want by fulfilling your potential and achieving the Prosperity and Success you desire .
Once you make the DECISION, we help you make it a REALITY.
Dr. Eugenia Andrews

MY GIFT OF LOVE TO YOU

It's February again, and Valentine's Day, is just around the corner.
Everywhere you turn you see red roses, pink candies , sentimental cards and heart shaped boxes with those sinfully delicious chocolates that are so hard to resist! (alas, I should know)...Oh, yes! Love is in the air!...All of us want to have this special feeling, if just for one day.
As I talk with friends, I can hear the anticipation , the expectations, the stress they feel, over what gift to buy, or what they might get from someone else and I don't even want to think about those people who forget to buy a gift and they suddenly "fall from grace " after such a ...mishap.
So, here is another perspective, a different look at Love.
It is my gift to you, for simply being YOU.
It doesn't matter if I know you or not, what truly matters is that you are here, on this planet and there is this invincible connection like a delicate thread that joins each one of us with the other as we create this community that's called humanity.
It may seem strange , even funny in some way, but I believe that Valentine's Day, is a day for everyone to feel the love they want, no matter if they are a couple or not.
When was the last time, that YOU, acknowledged yourself , for who you truly are? The authentic, incredible, unique human being who is going through this journey we call Life?
The time has come to take this step.
Choose a quiet space and be aware of your feet, touching the floor. This is the part of feeling grounded , having that sense of security and belonging.
Breath deep and allow your inner wisdom to come up and be heard, loud and clear, away from the busy chatter of the world.
Look into the mirror and observe slowly your face , your body, your physical self.
Leave the critical thoughts behind. They have no place in this moment now. This is you and there is nobody else on earth exactly like you.
Say out loud "You are perfect the way you are". Yes, you heard me right. No bargaining or doubting yourself.
"You are perfect and flawless, just the way you are".
Repeat this validation of yourself, until you know for sure that you believe it and you "own" that feeling in your heart.
Decide NOW, to live more in the moment, and fully appreciate you.
Stop thinking the "should have's"of yesterday and the "must do's" of tomorrow.
Slow down and be mindful of your thoughts.
Turn off the overthinking, it steals away your energy and leaves you angry and exhausted.
Be still and feel the quietness of your inner being without any distractions or thoughts.
Become aware of being Present .
There is just You and the Universe, God is all around you.
Feel the Gratitude for being alive .
Connect with the love you receive from the Universe, from God.
There is nobody in the world who will love you more than you.
Embrace this Love.
Feel it in your whole being and own it.
May you always feel Loved.
May your journey be one of wisdom and clarity.
May you hold yourself gently, as you dance lightly with your life!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
Dr.Eugenia

No one is perfect...

"No one is perfect, until you fall in love with them"
Unknown

A Choice: Letting Go of Guilt

Do you know a woman who does not feel guilty about something she said, felt or did? If she exists, I'm sure she lives on another planet. Guilt eats at us and saps us of our energy and inner peace. It steals our valuable time and peace of mind.
Today I invite you to release the guilt you are holding onto about something you said, or didn't say, or about what you did or failed to do. Think for a moment. What does the guilt add to your life? By feeling guilty, whom do you make happy and whom do you make happy and whom do you make sad? This unnecessary guilt you hold inside, slows down the process of attracting good things in your life. It might be love, friendship, forgiveness, generosity, success, abundance. Carrying your guilt around, it feels like a sack of stones, and it doesn't get any lighter.
Of course it never helps the people you think you have wronged.
Have you noticed that when you feel guilty, you tend to sabotage your success in anything you do.
From the depth of my heart, not only as a Life Coach, but also as a woman myself, I am asking you to check inside yourself. Have you been punishing yourself long enough? Are you tired yet of the constant self sabotage?
WHAT has to happen, for you to let go of this guilt.
Make a decision TODAY to let go of it. You will feel free!
Dr. Eugenia

A LETTER TO A FATHER

Question: Dear Dr. Andrews,
I am a 13 year old, and I have a younger brother and younger sister. May dad, when his is home from work, spends most of his time on the patio smoking. My mother and my sister are allergic to smoking. The rest of the family does not like the smell of cigarettes either. I am very sad that my dad smokes.He reads your column, so I would like him to know the reasons why I wish for him to stop smoking.
1. Dad, sometimes I feel you prefer smoking better than your own family.
2. I wish you would spend time not smoking but with all of us.
3. I worry about your health. You are always tired, out of breath and look older
than you really are. I'm afraid you may die from heart trouble or lung cancer
and I cry when I think this can happen to you.
4. Your smoking causes you and Mom to argue, and we all are very unhappy when
the two of you don't get along. We want to live in a happy family.
5. Cigarettes cost money, and you work hard on your job. Event then, we cannot
afford many extras. I feel as though you are taking away from yourself and
from all of us.Dad, you are a good person, and I think if you decide to quit
smoking and you ask God for help, he will give it to you.

Dad, I hope you will read these reasons and think about what I've said to you.
Love,Your Daughter

Answer: Your letter to your father was beautiful. I could feel your caring and the deep concern you have for him. I encourage you to tell your father that you love him and care about him, as you've said in your letter. Please avoid nagging, or threatening, they will not help him to make a decision to stop smoking.I want to that you for writing to me.You speak for many children, who have the same wish for a loved one as you do for your dad. I have included in this column some facts about smoking, based on information published by the American Cancer Society, that could be helpful to your father.

If you are thinking of quitting smoking here are some things to consider:

1. It's not as hard as you think to remove this addiction from your life.
2. Don't look at it as if you are giving up something. This makes it seem too much
like a loss. What you are really doing is tossing something out of your life that
has done you harm and doesn't belong here anymore.
3. Set a date. Make a commitment. Give it a try. Remember, it is alright if you don't
succeed at first. Just keep trying. The only way you can lose is by ceasing to try.
4. Always keep a positive attitude. After all, this is one of the most positive things
you've ever done. Stay away from negative people and worrisome situations.
5. Quit for yourself. Even though your family and loved ones will benefit
tremendously from your quitting, it is you that will benefit the most. Have at
lease two reasons that you want to stop smoking.
6. Treat giving up smoking with the respect it rightly deserves. Become willing to
go to any lengths to remove it from your life. If you are not willing, try praying
for the willingness. This usually works.
7. Consider getting some support from a professional who understands nicotine
addiction.
8. Clinical Hypnosis, Auricular acupuncture, and E.F.T. (Emotional Freedom
Technique) are most effective treatments to help you stop the smoking habit,
because they focus on the psychological and the physiological factors of the
addiction as well.
9. Keep in mind, that desire to be a non smoker, is the key to your success.

Eugenia Andrews,
Ph.D.Psychologist, Hypnotherapist, Life/Business Coach

Tips on How to Get Balance in Our Lives

1. Give up the Myth of Perfect Balance: Work - Life - Private Time.
2. Focus on three things that matter most to you.
3. Be open to the possibilities in life.
4. Reflect on how you spend your time and make adjustments as needed.
5. Acknowledge that your focus may change with time.

Succeed in Getting Balance in Your Life Today

• Learn to say "NO" to family members and anyone else. remember that NO is "ON" spelled backwards and you don't always have to be "ON". The courage to say NO will give you strength and renew your energy to feel "ON". Saying NO will free you to say YES when it's truly your heart's desire.
• Be open to change (s) in your life.
• Aim for reasonable balance for the long term. You will be healthier, happier, less hurried and so will the people around you.

Take Time for Yourself

Inner Balance / Spirituality

• Take time to be alone, to just think.
• To renew your energy.
• To nurture yourself.
• To help your mind, body and spirit move toward balance.
• To be at peace with yourself.
• Ask yourself: What have I always wanted to do just for me?

If You are Stressed and Trying NOT to Smoke

Relaxercise to stay calm think about something that makes you feel good. Relax your shoulders. Close your mouth and inhale through your nose as slowly and deeply as you can. Hold your breath while you count to four, keeping your shoulders relaxed. Exhale slowly, letting our all the air from your lungs, as if you were blowing out a candle. Repeat this inhale - exhale cycle five times.

Change Your Thoughts, Lose Weight

1. Even though I crave sweets, when I feel (angry, lonely, tired, anxious, depressed, frustrated, scared), I deeply and completely love and accept myself. (Repeat 3 times)
2. Whenever I have a craving for fattening foods, I choose to be peacefully in control of those cravings. (Repeat 3 times)
3. Whenever I have a thought for fattening foods, I choose to let go and let God / Universe. Thank you God / Universe. (Repeat 3 times)

Positive Attitude: It can change your life

• Understand the Power of Attitude
• Take Charge of Your Life
• Identify the Attitudes that Hold You Back or Push You Forward
• Reframe Your Negative Attitude
• Discover How to Motivate Yourself
• Be Prepared for Crisis or Opportunity
• Find Your Purpose and Passion
• Learn to See Change as An Opportunity
• Build Supportive Relationships
• Enjoy the Journey

Quick Stop Smoking Tips

Creative Alternatives to Smoking

If you are bored and trying not to smoke:

• Hold a fake cigarette, for example, cut up straws
• Take a walk
• Do a puzzle
• Doodle
• Exercise
• Chew Gum
• Call a friend
• Work on a hobby
• See a movie
• Eat a low calorie snack
• Give yourself a manicure/pedicure
• Make a list of things to do
• Read a newspaper
  

Success Strategy

Successful people tackle the unpleasant tasks first.

This, too, shall pass away

Time is a great healer. This is especially true in the case of the loss of a loved one.
Solomon wrote that: "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven...a time to die;...and a time to heal;... a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance" (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4).
Emotional healing will occur. A time to sing, a time to laugh and a time to dance will return.

Realize Your Dreams

The SECRET teaches us,
To powerfully intend to attract something small. Starting with something as small as the desire to have a steaming cup of coffee, or to get a parking space in a crowded parking lot. This is an easy way to experience the Law of Attraction in action. Visualize it, believe it's coming to you and you will have it. As you experience the inner power you have to attract, you will move on to creating much bigger things in your life and realizing your dreams.

STOP SMOKING - What are the symptoms of nicotine addiction?

Answer the following questions as honestly as you can:

1. Do you smoke every day?
2. Do you smoke because of shyness and to build self-confidence?
3. Do you smoke to escape from boredom and worries while under pressure?
4. Have you ever burned a hole in your clothes, carpet, furniture or car?
5. Have you ever had to go to the store late at night or at another inconvenient time because you were out of cigarettes?
6. Do you feel defensive or angry when people tell you that your cigarette smoke is bothering them?
7. Has a doctor or dentist suggested that you stop smoking?
8. Have you promised someone that you would stop smoking, then broken your promise?
9. Have you felt physical or emotional discomfort when trying to quit?
10. Have you successfully stopped smoking for a period of time only to start again?
11. Do you buy extra supplies of tobacco to make sure you won't run out?
12. Do you find it difficult to imagine life without smoking?
13. Do you choose only activities and entertainments such that you can smoke during them?
14. Do you prefer, seek out or feel more comfortable in the company of smokers?
15. Do you inwardly despise or feel ashamed of yourself because of your smoking?
16. Do you ever find yourself lighting up without having consciously deciding to?
17. Has your smoking caused trouble at home or in a relationship?
18. Do you ever tell yourself that you can stop smoking whenever you want to?
19. Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you didn't smoke?
20. Do you continue to smoke even thought you are aware of the health hazards posed by smoking?

If you answered "yes" to more than two of these questions, there is a chance that you are addicted or becoming addicted to nicotine. If you answered "yes" to three or more, you are probably already addicted to nicotine.

VARIOUS WAYS TO SUCCESSFULLY BEAT THE HABIT:

• Hypnotherapy
• E.F.T. (Emotional Freedom Technique)
• Acupuncture
• NeuroLinguistic Programming
• Cognitive therapy
• Cold Turkey
• Self Help Groups (Smoke Enders or Nicotine Anonymous among others)

DAILY DECLARATIONS KEY TO RESOLUTION SUCCESS

Dear Eugenia,
Every year I make my new year’s resolutions but for some reason I never have any success in sticking with them. This year I would like to put exercise into my daily routine and quit smoking. In the past I lost my enthusiasm quickly and I was back where I started, which made me feel like a failure.
Are other people successful in their resolutions, and could you give me some suggestions on how to realize mine.
I want to stop feeling disappointed in myself.
“Success in 2009”

Dear “Success”,
I think it’s great that you want to take better care of yourself as your new year’s resolutions reflect. Many people all over the world use this time of year to “take inventory” of how their lives have been in the past year, assess the things they’d planned to do and did, and come to the realization that there were still some things they did not accomplish. This realization, often puts some pressure on everyone, and it could lead to the individuals renewing their resolutions for the New Year much too quickly. Frequently, disappointment and a sense of failure give way to renewed hope that a new beginning could perhaps be made with the start of the New Year. You must know that you are not alone in having difficulty keeping your New Year’s resolutions. Research tells us that only about 40% of the people who make them are able to keep them on the first attempt. The rest make several attempts and many often will succeed on the fifth or sixth attempt. The following are some suggestions to help you succeed this year:

1. Make the decision to make a change for you and no one else.
2. A strong commitment to your goal is very important.
3. Start taking action today. One does not achieve change by thinking about it but by doing
something.
4. Take small steps daily, e.g., when it comes to losing weight, start walking 10 minutes every
day or eat half the portion of a meal that you would eat otherwise.
5. Have realistic expectations for yourself. It is truly amazing how being realistic about our
goals does not overwhelm us and produces amazing results.
6. Avoid being critical of yourself if you slip. Keep in mind that change is a process and it takes
time.
7. Be consistent. Through the accumulation of small actions we get big results.
8. We all want fast changes but we shouldn’t underestimate the factor of time. Changes require
us to be patient.
9. Make a list with coping strategies and several names of people who can be your support
system in your quest to lose weight and stop smoking. You might even find someone to do
this together with and you can motivate each other.
10. Never frame your resolutions as absolutes by saying “I will never do this again.” Success is
a process of changing all habits.
As the well-known football player and coach, Jim Ryan put it, “Motivation is what gets us started. Habit is what keeps us going.” Get into action today with small, consistent steps and before you know it, you’ll be meeting your goals.

Coping With Feelings

Managing Your Anger

Anger can be an underlyig cause of mental health issues. Learn what anger is; dangers of suppressed anger and steps toward managing anger.
What Is Anger?
Anger is a very powerful emotion that can stem from feelings of frustration, hurt, annoyance, or disappointment. It is a normal human emotion that can range from slight irritation to strong rage.
What Are the Dangers of Suppressed Anger?
Suppressed anger can be an underlying cause of anxiety and depression. Anger that is not appropriately expressed can disrupt relationships, affect thinking and behavior patterns, and create a variety of physical problems. Chronic (long-term) anger has been linked to health issues such as high blood pressure, heart problems, headaches, skin disorders and digestive problems. In addition, anger can be linked to problems such as crime, emotional and physical abuse, and other violent behavior.

What Steps Can I Take to Help Manage My Anger?

• When you start feeling angry, try deep breathing, positive self-talk, or stopping your angry thoughts. Breathe deeply from your diaphragm. Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax" or "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply until the anger subsides.
• Although expressing anger is better than keeping it in, anger should be expressed in an appropriate way. Frequent outbursts of anger are often counter-productive and cause problems in relationships with others. Anger outbursts are also stressful to your nervous and cardiovascular systems and can make health problems worse. Learning how to use assertiveness is the healthy way to express your feelings, needs and preferences. Being assertive can be used in place of using anger in these situations.
• Seek out the support of others. Talk through your feelings and try to work on changing your behaviors.
• If you have trouble realizing when you are having angry thoughts, keep a log of when you feel angry.
• Try to gain a different perspective by putting yourself in another's place.
• Learn how to laugh at yourself and see humor in situations.
• Practice good listening skills. Listening can help improve communication and can facilitate trusting feelings between people. This trust can help you deal with potentially hostile emotions.
• Learn to assert yourself, expressing your feelings calmly and directly without becoming defensive, hostile or emotionally charged up. Seek help from a life coach or an anger management expert to learn how to use assertiveness and anger management skills.
  
  What Else Can I Do to Deal With My Anger in a Healthy Way?
  If you believe that your anger is out of control and is having a negative affect on your life and relationships, seek the help of a mental health professional. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you to develop techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior. A mental health professional can help you to deal with your anger in an appropriate way. Choose your therapist carefully and make sure to seek treatment from a professional who is trained to teach anger management and assertiveness skills.

Positive Affirmations to Create Prosperity

AFFIRMATIONS

• All my hard work is bringing results now.
• Good things are happening to me because I am connecting with the Universe.
• I am embracing my success today and feel full joy.
• I am totally positive about my prosperity now.
• I am letting go of fear of success now.
• I am connected to the Universe and I am hearing YES.
• I love being rich, it is okay to be rich, I deserve to be rich.

IS THERE A TREATMENT FOR ANOREXIA, Published in Times Review

IS THERE A TREATMENT FOR ANOREXIA
Published in Times Review
Dear Eugenia,
My daughter is 19 years old and she has me very worried over her weight. She gained some extra weight rather quickly when she entered puberty and since a couple of years ago she went on a strict diet to lose the weight. The bad part is that she lost the weight but is still continuing to diet. She picks at her food and eats a few bites of salad. Other times she secretly eats a lot of chips, pizza, or donuts and she then makes herself throw up in the bathroom so she won’t gain weight. She is very thin but she thinks she is fat. I don’t understand what’s going on. Our family doctor says that if she continues like this, she will need to go to the hospital for treatment. Can she get better?
“Desperate Mother”

Dear Desperate,
Your daughter has a disorder that is called Anorexia Nervosa (lack of desire to eat due to a mental condition). In our youth-oriented society, where the words beautiful and thin are often interchangeable, young girls like your daughter tend to be preoccupied with their appearance and they constantly focus on their weight. Your daughter started out gaining weight which was unsettling to her, and led her to become scared of being overweight and fat. In her desire to become thin and stay thin, she began to starve herself, binge secretly and purge the food in order not to gain any weight. Just like anyone with anorexia, she has not lost her appetite in fact she longs to eat. Anorexics usually obsess and dream about foods, some of them even at times eat uncontrollably. Patients in treatment who are anorexic tell us that they spend 70-85 percent of time daily thinking about food, creating menus, baking, feeding family or friends, worrying about what to eat next, bingeing on food and purging to get rid of food eaten. Your daughter is afraid of food and afraid of herself. In her determination to lose weight however she continued and progressed in developing a morbid fear of gaining back any lost weight. She became determined to stay thin at all costs. Like all anorexics, she has a distorted body image (thinks she is fat). To her, gaining weight means being weak, undisciplined and unworthy. Dieting becomes “a safe place to go”, that helps her cope with low self-esteem, failure, dissatisfaction, or the need to be unique, to be special, a success and in control. The good news is that there is hope for your daughter. She should see a physician to assess her physical condition. She should also start seeing an experienced counselor who is specifically trained in eating disorders, for individual and group therapy. The counselor could work with the physician and a nutritionist as a team. Being a recovered anorexic/bulimic myself, I treat individuals with eating disorders by following a course that includes educational insight, allowing the patient to correct faulty thought patterns to regulate one’s tensions and moods among others. Once the patient has internalized his/her abilities and has gained new skills, he/she no longer needs to get into self-destructive behaviors (using food) to meet his/her needs, soothe emotions and feel in control. The individual will have learned new tools to go on with life.

MOM DOESN'T SHOW LOVE

DEAR EUGENIA:
I am almost 13 years old and the oldest of three children. I have had this problem for some time now and my best friend told me to write to you. My mom and dad were divor¬ced when I was ten years old. My brother, my sister, and I went to live with my dad, because my mom did not want custody of us kids. My problem is that my mom hardly ever sees us. When she does, she shows more attention to my brother and sister and I feel left out. We always end up getting into an argument and I start crying and go hide. Eugenia, sometimes when I think about my mother I feel like she doesn't care about me. I hurt inside and I get headaches before I go to visit her. Are there other kids with my problem? My mom reads the paper and if you write me back she will prob¬ably read your answer. , This is for my mom; "I love you mother and I wish we were all back together again." Thank you for listening,"Want my mom back"
DEAR "Want mom back" You are a brave little girl to put your feelings in a letter. I admire your courage and your desire to want to be close to your mother. Have you talked with her about any of this? She will need to be told by you, so she can decide to change her ways toward you. Divorce is not easy for kids or for parents. Grown-ups often assume that being a child must be easier than being an adult. They too can be sad and lonely. Your letter tells me that you are very capable in talking about the way you feel. You also seem to carry inside you some sadness about your parents' divorce. You may want to talk to your school counselor and tell her what you told me. A counselor can then help you and your mother on how to talk to each other calmly and build a good relationship between the two of you. Your letter is special and I know other kids will read it too. You may want to cut it out and give it to your mother to read. Good luck to you. Eugenia